Well since we’re on the topic of people that bug me here is another example. A cousin of mine came over last night with a few cigars to smoke and after dinner we went out on the the deck for Scotch and Cuban cigars. He brought a few Siglo No 4′s with him and that suited me just fine. With a cigar of that strength I felt that my old standby, Oban Scotch would work out and it was a fine pairing.
This is a cousin I rarely see and although we are quite close he is a guy I occasionally get into pretty good arguments with. His family was always very comfortable, financially speaking, and he was an only child….. Strike one……. This guy would come over to visit and bring always the biggest and best toys with him and then the bragging would begin….. Bragging?? … Strike two……
He has been smoking cigars for the past 2 years now and although he is a bit younger than I am, by 2 years, he feels and has always felt somewhat superior……. Strike three…….
Last night he started out by telling me all of the facts he knows about Cohiba cigars and I sat silently and listened to him go on and on…. and on….. and on……. and on…… about his feelings towards this wonderful cigar… He told me about the cigar’s obvious flaws and weaknesses compared to the original Cohibas…… I had to hear about his feelings towards the cigar’s development going into the second third and how he felt that this cigar was letting him down…… Good grief!!!!!!!! I was having a fine time smoking the beautiful Corona Gorda but he wasn’t letting go of it…..
Just when I had had about enough, he started telling me that I should come over to his place more often so he could give me cigar tutorials and if I paid attention I could really learn a few things from him… That was it!!! I couldn’t take it any longer and started to plan a little accident for him!! He had chosen a chair that I was going to spend a bit of time repairing since it had a weak back leg that would sometimes give out and cause the person sitting on it to fall back… Off to the washroom he went and I knew what I was going to do.
When he was in the house I reached over and loosened the bolt holding the left back leg and quickly sat back down in my chair without him noticing as he strolled back on to the deck.. He reached for his drink, stood over me and continued braying on and on about all of his vast cigar knowledge and then sat down again….. Nothing happened…..
Talk about lucky, this guy must have been holding on to a lucky rabbit’s foot in his back pocket as he smoked, drank, had another drink and then started leaning back onthe back two legs of his chair when it finally gave way….. I sat quietly watching his drink spilled over him as he hit the deck and saw the sparks of his cigar as it smashed onto the floor…….. The argument began…….
I pretended to be sorry and offered to give him a dry shirt but he wasn’t having any part of it.. All of the things that he didn’t like about me started spewing out and before I knew it, he was blaming all of our family’s problems on me….. I was into the final third of the cigar and it tasted great.. I took another sip of the Oban and told him that maybe it was getting a bit late…….